Day 22 - Staying Stable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus more attention on thought than in myself in breath causing myself to forget how to breathe properly through giving focus onto my breath and not thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get wrapped up in a thought pattern, continuously thinking again and again about that thought pattern, giving more attention to the thoughts than to myself here in breath, here in the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight literally of the physical through losing myself within thought pattern, thinking about the play-outs of that thought pattern, and memories attached to the thought pattern losing sight of what  is here in front of me in the physical as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give attention to thought than to myself here breathing, in the physical, giving attention to/as the physical and me participating within/as the physical equal and one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create conversation within the mind, stopping myself from being here in the physical and taking self-directive responsibility to move myself within/as the physical reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath when I notice myself thinking to much and running around within the mind, slow down everything and let go of all that I have thought about, releasing myself from the build up of thought allowing myself to take myself back here and focus myself within/as physical living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am thinking as I am thinking and in that thinking that I am thinking attempt to stop thinking through judgment of myself for thinking instead of taking a breath and letting go unconditionally free from judgment and placing myself here in the physical and maintaining myself in breath directing myself here in breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally let go of myself within the mind releasing myself from the stress that I put on myself through thinking continuously and attempting to stop it through being judgmental with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stiffen up my body each time I notice I am thinking as an attempt to stop the thought process in this losing myself in a constant battle between stopping and breathing, instead of breathing and letting go of the thought process within breathing being unconditional with myself in letting go of thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blind myself with much thought and repeated thought over and over until all I see is the holographic picture that I have generated within the mind over the repeated thought pattern missing myself here in the physical in the ability to direct myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay attention to the direction that I give myself within/as the mind and the thoughts that come up, following the thoughts within/as the direction of/as the thoughts instead of breathing here and directing myself within the physical through taking a breath and placing myself back here in the focus on myself breathing and move myself within/as the physical directing myself within/as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose myself further in thought through thinking about losing myself in thought, instead of unconditionally letting go of all thought and separating myself within/as the mind, stopping thought  and allowing myself to participate here breathing and focusing on myself in breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the time and opportunity to calm myself down when I am in thought for far too long, to bring myself back here and focus on myself and what I must do here in the physical reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with/as thought that is of a high energy to generate a form of happiness and playfulness instead of breathing here and letting go of all energy and staying stable within breath in each moment letting go of all energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain thoughts that are `playful` when they only distract me from the physical, breathing here, and allow myself to put myself again into the mind within allowing the myself to play with the energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that even within the slightest movement of myself within/as energy has consequences and that I must move through those consequences when and as I accept myself to participate in energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain thoughts through allowing myself to participate in/as the energy within/as them, playing around with the energy to get a `happy` feeling which only allows me to separate myself from the physical here breathing and being able to direct myself in breath here within/as the physical

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to subtly give into thought through playing around with the thought, repeating it over and over, instead of breathing here and directing myself within/as stability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the fact that even with the participating in/as the `high` energy within the mind that I am still going to create consequences that I must walk through and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that allowing myself to direct myself with energy I am allowing myself to be manipulated by energy, wherein breathing and directing myself within breath I am able to direct myself limitless through/as breath and be absolutely direct with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to be self-honest when I am participating in a thought that is `fun` and `playful` not allowing myself to see the true nature of the thought and what I am actually participating in.

(To give context, yesterday I was looking over a reviewed assignment, and looking at the corrections the teacher made. In this I went into a form of inferiority within judging the work that I put in. So I started to say fuck a lot in a musical fashion and create a rhythm out of the word fuck, not realizing what I was in fact doing through repeating the word over and over again = allowing myself to resist doing the work and building up a judgment and definition of myself within the work. I then `lost` myself in this thought pattern through not stopping it, taking a breath and simply directing myself within/as breath but allowed the judgment to remain)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that within participating in thoughts I must be self-honest in what I am in fact participating in and understand that consequences of and as the participation within/as the thoughts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that within participating in thought, even the slightest thought, that I in fact created myself in/as thought and in/as energy which allows the energy to come back at me and create consequences of/as participating in the thought, instead of breathing here and directing myself within breath and correcting my actions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop a thought pattern even when I see what the consequences are, but to continue to think the thought pattern and continue to ignore the consequences of what I am doing through participating in/as the thought pattern.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret participating in energy, holding that against myself in/as the moment here, instead of unconditionally letting go of the thought pattern, realizing the mistake I made and directing myself here within breathing here, taking  my focus back to myself in breathing and in that direct myself within breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repeat the word fuck over and over in a `playful` way that was within a starting point of self-judgment for the work that I had submitted, allowing myself to build up self-judgment through repeating the word instead of realizing and being self-honest in what I was doing in fact and stopping in that moment, taking a breath, letting go of the judgment within doing the work, and stopping the definition I was creating within my application within the work, and direct myself in corrective action to get a better grade and to stop the `errors` within the writings that I was creating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within creating a judgment about the work that I am doing I am in fact creating a judgment about myself and in that creating a polarity of myself within/as applying myself within the work instead of allowing myself to breathe and direct myself within the work, within breath until it is done, checking over my work for the repeated `mistakes` and correcting them to get a better grade.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist putting in effort within the work that I have been assigned because of the fear of creating the same mistakes and facing the judgment that I have created within doing the work, instead of taking my direction back into my hands through breathing and focusing myself within breath and directing myself without judgment or definitions within the work that I apply myself within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to recognize that within participating in a positive energy I am in fact creating a resistance to that which is the opposite within/as the positive energy allowing myself to as well create myself in negativity towards the action that I am participating with in the positive energy allowing myself to miss myself here in breath within/as direction in/as the physical and allow myself to be directed by the further search for positive energy through participating in the positive energy in fact creating myself in the negative energy. (I participated in the word fuck within positivity which in fact the origin of the thought was negative as judgment, so I created a polarity game at that time)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that in participating in a positive energy I am in fact creating myself as negativity as the origin of positivity is negativity and in that attempting to search more for the positivity through in fact creating myself as negativity but only making it as positivity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the consequences of participating in the polarity game of positive and negative not realizing that I am in fact creating both through participating in one, and in that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-honest in that which I am participating in, looking at myself in/as the point that I am participating in and correct it to what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist participating in work effectively and want to participate in getting home and eating and sitting down and resting instead of participating in all ways always equally with myself here in each moment

I commit myself to doing what I must do in this world, doing what I have to do in order to get my life on `track`

I commit myself to stopping the emotional games that I have been creating within applying myself in one area comparing it to another area in this separating myself from myself through defining myself differently in one activity to the next

I commit myself to developing stability in each moment creating myself towards the end of being who I am in every moment, not wavering in who I am from moment to moment but living the principles of what is best for all in each and every moment in stability.

I commit myself to letting go of the emotions that I have built up in having to do things that I have to do and wanting to escape doing them, allowing myself to not take responsibility in this committing myself to developing myself anew

I commit myself to developing myself to stay stable in each breath, breath by breath, making sure that I do not waver within positivity and negativity, but remain stable in direction of what is best for all in equality and oneness