Day 20 - Fuck I'm in this Shit Again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my reality through creating emotions about not wanting to face myself in my reality, not realizing that I initially created my reality equal and one to me so to run from my reality I am only running from myself, not allowing myself to face myself and how I have created myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist facing my reality because of the combined definitions that I have come to define it as and in this resist facing myself, not realizing that I first created myself in this reality, so I in fact am able to face myself in my reality in each breath, taking each part of my reality a part until all that is left is me here breathing, stable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my reality is something to fear, because of the past definitions of it being `shit` `unenjoyable` `full of challenges` and in this believe that my reality is something that is separate from me not realizing that I in fact created my reality equal and one to me, separated myself from my reality, created the definitions of/as the reality/myself and then placed the definitions above or below me, not allowing myself to stand and realize that I am equal and one to my reality through/as creator/creation, taking responsibility for myself in/as my reality equal and one and changing my reality equal and one into a reality that is best for me in fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in changing me into what is best for all and stopping my repetitive actions that I have repeated over time and time again to create this reality in/as the image and likeness of myself and my lived actions, that I am able to change my reality again equal and one to me in/as my living practices and movement within/as the created reality as it is now, in this correcting my reality into a reality that is best for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop the accepted and allowed definitions of/as my reality defining my reality as separate from myself, but instead live within/as the separation from/as my reality believing that my reality is different from me and in that not giving myself the power to take back my power in/as my reality and change my reality equal and one to new living practices

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my reality within/as negative definitions as `shit` `unenjoyable` `hell` `unfair` which only allows me to resist facing my reality, instead of taking apart each of those definitions and redefining my reality equal and one to me living here and in this change myself through equalizing myself to a new living practice of myself and in this change my reality equal and one to living the new definition of/as my reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing my reality because of the unknown that will await me when I change my reality and having to let go of my automated actions that I have used to direct myself within my accepted and allowed reality and to as well fear keeping my reality the same because of having to repeat the same actions over again that have not been in my best interest as myself birthing myself to life, allowing myself to be a fence sitter in changing myself and my reality and in this the whole of reality through being one in changing my part in the whole

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop the fear of changing myself and to realize that I am always here as myself and in that I am able to take myself within breath and move myself into what is best for all over time, learning first what best for all in fact means within/as applying myself within/as actions finding the consequences of said actions and to see if I cannot better the consequences of the actions until I can not longer better them making them the best

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing myself within/as work because of the fear of having to survive within/as money and that if I change myself at work and stand up to myself within/as accepting the abuse within/as the male ego within working in a majority male environment that I will be outcasted from the work place and thus not survive, when in reality my job is solely dependent on/as my actions within/as my duties and that it does not in fact matter if I include myself within/as a group in the workplace because surviving in the workplace is only up to me and doing my job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that standing up in the workplace is purposely creating conflict within/as the male ego, which is not so in fact, standing up would be supporting other males to in fact see the male ego and to understand how the male ego in fact works and how in totality the male ego has created a lot of shit in this world, wherein purposely creating the conflict within/as `standing up` is only in support of the male ego through creating competition within/as creating the conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I stand up for myself and against the abuse within work that I will be ostracized, when in fact I do not know how the workplace/environment will understand that the abuse is unacceptable within/as this world and in any environment, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself into/as a position of `standing up` in separation from myself here within/as my living principles of/as me here and in this I realize that All I need is me to stand, t live within/as myself and what I! will accept and allow within myself and in this simply speak me when abuse comes up standing my ground as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that standing up is all within me, it is not within/as the situation or environment but me myself within/as my standing as myself, within/as my living principles that I in fact live within/as, not relying on the environment/situation for me to stand up, but only me myself in this supporting the stop of abuse through myself in/as my living in each breath, only needing me to support life through not allowing the further abuse of life, within/as myself and living of/as the stop of abuse within/as myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to first focus on me and my standing within/as stopping my own self-abuse and self-manipulation and correct that before anything else that I put myself towards within/as stopping abuse, correcting myself first and becoming a living example of/as how to live free from abuse before I even attempt to stand up to abuse that I have not cleared within/as myself first, allowing myself to speak words that I have not lived within/as myself first, allowing myself to lose trust in myself in seeing clearly what must be done first and allowing myself to not live as an example first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the fact that I am here and that I am part of the equation in all ways always and in this correct my living actions before/as I speak about actions that I have not lived in fact, allowing myself to stand clear as myself first before I support others in stopping the hell within/as them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that I must correct myself first, that I must clear myself in all ways always in order to speak on a point within/as the living world agreement that has been accepted and allowed, in order to clearly support a being to correct themselves equal and one to the accepted and allowed agreement of how the world/ourselves is being lived out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the fact that I myself am in charge of myself and that I am able to change myself through stopping the accepted and allowed abuse within/as my immediate environment through understand how I created myself equal and one to/as the environment that was here before me, and changing my actions through decision and focusing on myself in directing myself within what is best for me here as life.

I commit myself to understanding myself in how I created my reality equal and one to/as my lived actions and in that correcting my lived actions/principles into/as what is best for all life so that I create my reality equal and one to that which is best for all

I commit myself to taking the time to correct my actions and investigate my actions until I cannot better my actions any further

I commit myself to living the example first before I speak about any point, so that I make sure that I am in fact clear on the point within/as myself and in that allowing myself to become a lived example of/as living within/as what is best for all

I commit myself to changing myself and my lived actions within/as my immediate environment and placing myself equal and one to my environment in/as how I have already created my reality, equalizing myself to new lived actions within the principles of what is best for all, and equality and oneness

I commit myself to take the practical steps to move myself into equalizing myself to new lived actions through/as living them breath by breath allowing myself to prove to myself that I have in fact equalized my actions to what is best for all and live them into eternity.